Wednesday, June 27, 2012

things i learned from getting a massage

  1. massage lotion is amazing, except on 100-degree days when it literally drips off of me as soon as I leave
  2. my ears get painfully hot when anyone puts pressure on the top of my pelvis
  3. relaxation lounges are a lot more relaxing when not jammed with ten other forcibly relaxed people
  4. very few in the massage trade will ever be as hard on my muscles as I want them to be
  5. I am not comfortable mumbling "harder. harder. harder, please?" over and over
  6. massage blankets are remarkably soft and cuddly
  7. I will not even begin to relax until I turn off my brain
  8. the sole purpose of pan flutes is to make me think of South Park


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